


Every day is freaky in Mount Wundagore

by Supertights



Category: New Warriors
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Attempt at Humor, Bodyswap, Fucking Machines, Gen, Mild Language, POV Third Person, To Say Nothing of the Dog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 17:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4795571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supertights/pseuds/Supertights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Dog tried to keep the humans from the Mountain's numerous dangerous devices but he was, in the end, only an enhanced canine, and keeping humans off every control panel, and away from every switch and button in the entire mountain, was impossible. Most especially since the Cat had not returned to help him as promised. Nine lives indeed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every day is freaky in Mount Wundagore

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OxyMitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OxyMitch/gifts).



> For a fellow New Warriors fanatic, thanks for the plot bunny.

“Don’t touch that.” Jake Waffles slapped Sam’s hand away from the panel of blinking lights and switches.

“It’s a coffee maker right? I can’t break a coffee maker-- well, _another_ coffee maker,” said Sam Alexander. “And in my defence, the first one was trying to kill me at the time.” He shuddered, the tiny red eyes and groping claws, steamed milk frothing at the nozzle. “Rabid!”

“I believe that was a possum, possibly a very large rat,” replied Jake, sniffing. “I seem to remember the smell of burnt--”

“I know what a possum looks like, sort of--” Sam growled.

“I wouldn't be so sure,” replied the Dog under his breath.

“I need coffee!”

“You’re too little to be drinking coffee,” said Aracely Penalba, patting Sam's helmet. She was hovering upside down and above him, legs crossed, having entered the room unnoticed by either Nova or Jake. “It’s gross, why would you want too?”

“Because Kaine screamed at me through the wall! Can’t a guy walk down a hallway without someone screaming at them? He said he’d kill me less today if I brought him a helmet full of coffee.” Sam didn't really think he meant his actual helmet but you could never be sure with Kaine. “I really want to change rooms, maybe a different part of the mountain, with a sea view.”

She made a noise that sounded a lot like a snort. “Kaine could use less coffee not more, it makes him all jumpy and aggressive. Veto on the coffee.”

"Where's my coffee?!" demanded Kaine, staggering through the doorway.

“I'm getting the coffee.” Sam squeaked, frantically jabbing at the button, anticipating the rich aroma of life lived easier for one more day at least.

The Dog howled. “Wrong button!”

 

* * *

 

Kaine woke with his arm pressed hard over his eyes. Everything hurt. A day of the week then. He moved his arm and opened his eyes. Everything was also blurry. Sounds began to assault his ears, loud, angry, shouting sorts of noises. He began to make out voices, snatches of conversation.

Vance, talking in low questioning tones. “Whatever happened, you need to fix it!”

“Not that easy.” The Dog. “The boy pressed the wrong button.”

“Explain it then,” said Selah, she sounded almost reasonable. Kaine hated reasonable, it robbed him of his rage inspired justification to kill stuff harder. “What is a wrong button?”

“The button that should never be touched. The machine is-- the outcome is-- different every time, results depend entirely on the mental and emotional processes of the subject at the time of--” The dog shrugged.

“So Sam was, what, getting coffee because Kaine threatened to kill him and so--” Vance swore.

Kaine grinned, anyone making that guy’s life hard was someone he wanted to shake the hand of, then punch.

“Why do you have a mind swapping machine in the mountain anyway?” Baldwin asked thoughtfully.

Mark cut in. “This is all very important I'm sure but someone fix it before Kaine works out what happened.”

“Not that easy,” repeated Waffles.

“Will you all shut the fuck up?!” bellowed Kaine. Sitting up was a risky proposition from the weakness in his body but somehow he managed it.

“Too late! He’s awake, and cranky.” Baldwin laughed, moving out of range.

Aracely put a hand on his shoulder. “Kaine, don’t move around too much, things are a bit--” she said thoughtfully. “Weird, freaky even. Freaky for _us_ even.”

“Weird?” Kaine chuckled harshly, his voice sounded weird. “Everyday is a fucking freak show in this place.” He waved his arm to encompass the mountain. His yellow gloved, skinny looking, teenage black Nova uniform clad arm. The targeting screen in his helmet finally re-focused on-- Parker? No. Kaine was looking at his own body which was studying the floor intently. “What the ever loving fuck have you people done to me?!” he bellowed at the circle of his team-mates, looking at him with everything from concern to amusement.

“Boy pressed wrong button,” repeated the Dog. Again.

**Author's Note:**

> Trying this one short fic a day thing for a week anyway, if I can make it through a week, there's hope for me yet.


End file.
